Darling I want you to see, there's permanent changes awakened in me...

Alright...I'm gonna talk about it...the big D..no I dont mean Dallas, divorce, diets, or death...I'm talking about diabetes.

Now of course there are days when I'm angry about having it..when I'm sick of having to eat certain foods or sick of having to poke myself...sick of people asking me how I'm feeling. And I'm not going to lie, every now and again there comes a day when I do eat something I shouldn't...or a day when I don't exercise as much as I should. But even on those down days, I must admit that being diagnosed with diabetes has had some positive affects on me.

For one, I am thankful that it was diabetes and not something worse. At least what I have is manageable and liveable...yeah it's annoying some days but I really shouldn't complain because the diagnosis could have easily been something way worse.

Also, those few days I spent in the hospital served as some great thinking time. It was really a wake-up call. (I know, really cliche..everyone who goes through something traumatic says that, but its true!) I realized that lately I've been taking a way too passive role in my life. To be honest, high school was a breeze for me..academically I was on top...science was my strong suit and opportunities were just given to me because I excelled. But then I went to college and was knocked on my butt so fast. Suddenly, I wasn't a star anymore...everything seemed more difficult and I had to work hard at everything, including science. It was quite an ego blow. In addition, I learned that just being smart wasn't enough...all of us there were smart and opportunities were no longer just given to you because of that fact..if you want something, you have to make it known and you have to fight for it. While I was in the hospital, I realized that now was the time to make these things happen..I had to step out of my comfort zone and go after what I wanted. Things are no longer gonna be handed to me..if I want them, it is up to me to go out and get them.

I tried really hard to keep this mentality going when I actually got back to school, and I must say, I had the best semester of college thus far. I worked really hard, and I feel like I finally belong there...I've earned my spot. I've gained some of my academic confidence back and I've formed great bonds with some of my professors.

So I guess, in a weird and slightly warped way, being diagnosed with diabetes changed my life for the better..don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone ever...but I guess this was just my attempt to find something positive amongst the negative!

Alright..I'm off to go eat a cake....

...just kidding!