Alright...I'm gonna talk about it...the big D..no I dont mean Dallas, divorce, diets, or death...I'm talking about diabetes.
Now of course there are days when I'm angry about having it..when I'm sick of having to eat certain foods or sick of having to poke myself...sick of people asking me how I'm feeling. And I'm not going to lie, every now and again there comes a day when I do eat something I shouldn't...or a day when I don't exercise as much as I should. But even on those down days, I must admit that being diagnosed with diabetes has had some positive affects on me.
For one, I am thankful that it was diabetes and not something worse. At least what I have is manageable and liveable...yeah it's annoying some days but I really shouldn't complain because the diagnosis could have easily been something way worse.
Also, those few days I spent in the hospital served as some great thinking time. It was really a wake-up call. (I know, really cliche..everyone who goes through something traumatic says that, but its true!) I realized that lately I've been taking a way too passive role in my life. To be honest, high school was a breeze for me..academically I was on top...science was my strong suit and opportunities were just given to me because I excelled. But then I went to college and was knocked on my butt so fast. Suddenly, I wasn't a star anymore...everything seemed more difficult and I had to work hard at everything, including science. It was quite an ego blow. In addition, I learned that just being smart wasn't enough...all of us there were smart and opportunities were no longer just given to you because of that fact..if you want something, you have to make it known and you have to fight for it. While I was in the hospital, I realized that now was the time to make these things happen..I had to step out of my comfort zone and go after what I wanted. Things are no longer gonna be handed to me..if I want them, it is up to me to go out and get them.
I tried really hard to keep this mentality going when I actually got back to school, and I must say, I had the best semester of college thus far. I worked really hard, and I feel like I finally belong there...I've earned my spot. I've gained some of my academic confidence back and I've formed great bonds with some of my professors.
So I guess, in a weird and slightly warped way, being diagnosed with diabetes changed my life for the better..don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone ever...but I guess this was just my attempt to find something positive amongst the negative!
Alright..I'm off to go eat a cake....
...just kidding!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Why do we have to read, can't we just party on?!
Alright...I've survived the chaos that is finals, and have moved back home for the summer (unpacking took FOREVER!...why do I require so many accessories!?) And while its really great to be home, I do miss everyone back out in Moorhead!
One thing I REALLY miss about Moorhead is my kindergarteners at Dilworth. So many people are surprised when I tell them I work at an elementary school..usually I get the, "but you're premed, why are working at a school..you don't wanna be a teacher"..yes, that is correct I am premed, and yes also correct that I don't want to be a teacher...I work at a school because it works well with my schedule, working with kids is fun, and I just want to, OK?! And to be honest, spending some afternoons with kindergarteners is a welcome study break. I spend so much time focusing on the big picture...the goal is med school..GO! Almost everything I do revolves around advancing and getting to that final step of med school...so much so that sometimes I forget about the little victories along the way. Working with kindergarteners reminds me to recognize and celebrate those little victories...to them, everyday is a new adventure and something like learning how to write a new letter is the great accomplishment of the day. I think we could all learn a lot if we hung out with kindergarteners more...
And also, Maranda, their teacher. She is absolutely wonderful! She has a great sense of humor and most importantly, she just let the kindergarteners be kids...even if that meant being loud or messy! I also consider her my friend, she always asked what was going on in my life, how my classes were going, etc...and she was definitely there for me (like when I locked my keys in my car bwhaha), she was the first one in Moorhead I told about my diabetes because I felt comfortable talking to her about it. I really hope my schedule allows me to work in her classroom next year...
My last day at Dilworth was definitely bittersweet...the kids made me a book, each one of them drew me a picture and wrote a little bit..it was really cute! And then Maranda gave me a really nice card! I know that the likelihood of my working with Maranda next year is pretty great, and the odds of me working with the kids as first graders is also pretty high..but its still a little sad because I know things will be different...I'm sure the kids I knew as kindergarteners are going to be WAY different as first graders...and while it is fun seeing them grow and change, I'm definitely going to miss the moments we shared this past year!
Aren't we a lovely bunch? haha! you would not believe how difficult it was just to get us all assembled, let alone take a decent picture...there were at least 10 attempts..but its ok, I wouldn't want them all to be sitting perfectly still and smiling..because, well, that would just be a lie! So here's to you my dear kindergarteners...you always brightened up my day!!
One thing I REALLY miss about Moorhead is my kindergarteners at Dilworth. So many people are surprised when I tell them I work at an elementary school..usually I get the, "but you're premed, why are working at a school..you don't wanna be a teacher"..yes, that is correct I am premed, and yes also correct that I don't want to be a teacher...I work at a school because it works well with my schedule, working with kids is fun, and I just want to, OK?! And to be honest, spending some afternoons with kindergarteners is a welcome study break. I spend so much time focusing on the big picture...the goal is med school..GO! Almost everything I do revolves around advancing and getting to that final step of med school...so much so that sometimes I forget about the little victories along the way. Working with kindergarteners reminds me to recognize and celebrate those little victories...to them, everyday is a new adventure and something like learning how to write a new letter is the great accomplishment of the day. I think we could all learn a lot if we hung out with kindergarteners more...
And also, Maranda, their teacher. She is absolutely wonderful! She has a great sense of humor and most importantly, she just let the kindergarteners be kids...even if that meant being loud or messy! I also consider her my friend, she always asked what was going on in my life, how my classes were going, etc...and she was definitely there for me (like when I locked my keys in my car bwhaha), she was the first one in Moorhead I told about my diabetes because I felt comfortable talking to her about it. I really hope my schedule allows me to work in her classroom next year...
My last day at Dilworth was definitely bittersweet...the kids made me a book, each one of them drew me a picture and wrote a little bit..it was really cute! And then Maranda gave me a really nice card! I know that the likelihood of my working with Maranda next year is pretty great, and the odds of me working with the kids as first graders is also pretty high..but its still a little sad because I know things will be different...I'm sure the kids I knew as kindergarteners are going to be WAY different as first graders...and while it is fun seeing them grow and change, I'm definitely going to miss the moments we shared this past year!
Aren't we a lovely bunch? haha! you would not believe how difficult it was just to get us all assembled, let alone take a decent picture...there were at least 10 attempts..but its ok, I wouldn't want them all to be sitting perfectly still and smiling..because, well, that would just be a lie! So here's to you my dear kindergarteners...you always brightened up my day!!
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