You've got to walk away knowing you fought the good fight

Alright...I realize I've been AWOL for...well WAY too long and for that apologize. And I promise I will be posting a life update soon because let me tell you, there are SOME major things going, such as my recent flood fighting adventures (almost thought I'd have to start building an ark and gathering up two of every animal)...

...BUT, I came out of hibernation on this particular evening to pay tribute to one of the best television shows created..a show that is very near and dear to my heart...yup, thats right...ER. Words cannot explain the impact ER has had on me...now I know what you're thinking "Umm..Amber, you do realize it is just a TV show right?" Uh huh...yup..sure do...but it is so much more than that. I began watching ER when I was very young (where was the parental monitoring of television watching? haha!) and I have seen every single episode since day one (some episodes I've seen WAY more than one time..but we won't even go there). ER was a show that tackled some controversial issues and challenged people's beliefs and values on a weekly basis. Unique to ER was the fact that the characters were all flawed in some way...but not to the point that they were unbelievable...and these flaws also made it easy to relate to the characters.

Tonight while watching the finale, I was honestly tearing up mere minutes into the retrospective; which I know some people may find pathetic but after 15 years, I'm incredibly invested in this show and its characters. I mean do the math...approximately 22 episodes a season..15 seasons...each episode is an hour..I've spent a large chunk of my life watching this show haha! I know that I will continue to follow the careers of many of the actors/actresses from the show...Maura Tierney, Sherry Stringfield, Noah Wyle, the list goes on and on..all incredible talents and I look forward to their future projects.

So, in closing, thank you ER..you will be greatly missed (THANK goodness for season dvds ha!)You've undoubtedly held a place in my life and I'm sure the lives of many others.

"When you do all that you can, sometimes more than you thought you could, you have to walk away knowing you fought the good fight."-from season 5 episode "The Good Fight"

The truth is out there...

alright...alright...I've gotta come clean with my new obsession...X-Files!! Now, I know what you're probably thinking, "uh..you're like fifteen years behind the times, sweetie"..however, I was much too young to get into the show when it first started. So now you're probably wondering how this whole thing started...

...well, typical me, I've gotta blame someone else cuz it surely is not my fault! I was at my grandparents and the TV Guide caught my eye...David Duchovny (he's so hot!) and Gillian (she's gorgeous) were on the cover..so I read the article...my mother used to be obsessed with the show so I asked her if she would like to go see the movie...and well, the rest is history!

We've begun to buy all the seasons on dvd...I've watched the first movie like...oh five or six times haha! It is a little out of control..but I just can't help it...its such a smart show..plus, HELLO, Gillian and I have the same color hair which pretty much makes us best friends haha!

Although I'm a little afraid of how watching the show is going to affect my career goals..I'm pretty sure "alien impregnation" will not be an acceptable answer on my MCAT!

Meet me in the sunshine, do ya wanna come out and play

My OH my things have been busy in my neck of the woods!

Over fourth of July weekend, my grandma fell and broke her hip. Which resulted in a trip to Duluth for surgery at 10pm and uncomfortable night sleeping in the waiting room (although all involved made it as fun as it possibly good be)..yeah definitely don't recommend sleeping in a waiting room...avoid it at all costs! She stayed in the hospital in Duluth for a few days, but is now recovering at home. So I've been spending a lot of time helping out there...

....and I've also started babysitting for a new family (in addition to the family I already spend the majority of my time with haha) Nette and Dean...I've known Nette since I was like 10...she is my hair stylist. ANYWAY, her and her husband have two kids..Nicholas, who is 7 (and let me just say right now that I am NOT used to babysitting little boys..its sometimes a struggle) and little miss Livia who is 2 (she is so DARLING!)..plus they have three dogs and Nick has two guinea pigs...never a dull moment in that house, I'll tell ya! This past weekend I babysat for both familes at the same time...Nat and Claire were great, they helped me out with Nick and Liv...it wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be, but it was still exhausting!

Today I just had my regular two though...and it was an absolutely GORGEOUS day, so we headed out to the beach...I love days like this :)

The birds and the bees...and the bugs??

As I've mentioned before, during the summer, I work as a nanny for a family in my hometown. I've been with this family for over five years now, so really, their house is like my second home. ANYWAY, they have two girls...Natalie is 10 and Claire is 6...and gosh do they make me laugh...

Claire's latest thing is bugs...last week we were driving home from tee ball and out of the blue she goes, "ya know who I feel bad for?? BUGS...because everyone just kills them.." so since then she has been all about bugs. Well yesterday, Natalie and I were cleaning up the kitchen from lunch and Claire came into the house and said, "look I found a momma and a baby bug" and I look and see one bug on top of the other..now of course, being the biology major that I am, I know very well that it is definitely not a mom and baby bug..but I wasn't going to say anything to the precious child. Natalie, however, had no problem saying something. She took one look at the bugs in her sister's hand and said "CLAIRE!! THEY'RE MATING!!"...to which Claire quickly dumped the bugs onto the kitchen floor, looks at me with a panicked look on her face, and says,"What does that mean!?" and before I could answer, Natalie proudly declares, "ya know, they were doing IT"

...oooh kids say/do the darndest things....

But I always know who I'm with, I'm with the band...

I'm just gonna come right out and say...I absolutely LOVE Little Big Town. So much so that I'm contemplating dropping out of college and becoming a groupie! Or maybe I can work for them...I mean what are the qualifications for being the person that hands them their instruments? Maybe they'd let me play the tambourine??

I got to see Little Big Town in concert for the second time and it was AMAZING. We had third row seats (hence the semi-decent picture). They played for about an hour and a half...and I loved every minute of it! I really like seeing my favorite artists in concert because you get to see how passionate they are about the music they sing/create...lots of people could go into a recording studio and make a great CD..but you can tell who are true artists by how they perform on stage. Little Big Town has been around for awhile, although they are just starting to reach the popularity level they deserve. Every member of the group is extremely talented, and I love how they all take turns singing lead vocals. SO, if you haven't listened to/heard of Little Big Town yet, give them a listen...it'll be worth it!

I know for sure that I'll be going to their next concert..wherever in Minnesota it may be...

...oh, and this time...I'm getting front row seats!

Darling I want you to see, there's permanent changes awakened in me...

Alright...I'm gonna talk about it...the big D..no I dont mean Dallas, divorce, diets, or death...I'm talking about diabetes.

Now of course there are days when I'm angry about having it..when I'm sick of having to eat certain foods or sick of having to poke myself...sick of people asking me how I'm feeling. And I'm not going to lie, every now and again there comes a day when I do eat something I shouldn't...or a day when I don't exercise as much as I should. But even on those down days, I must admit that being diagnosed with diabetes has had some positive affects on me.

For one, I am thankful that it was diabetes and not something worse. At least what I have is manageable and liveable...yeah it's annoying some days but I really shouldn't complain because the diagnosis could have easily been something way worse.

Also, those few days I spent in the hospital served as some great thinking time. It was really a wake-up call. (I know, really cliche..everyone who goes through something traumatic says that, but its true!) I realized that lately I've been taking a way too passive role in my life. To be honest, high school was a breeze for me..academically I was on top...science was my strong suit and opportunities were just given to me because I excelled. But then I went to college and was knocked on my butt so fast. Suddenly, I wasn't a star anymore...everything seemed more difficult and I had to work hard at everything, including science. It was quite an ego blow. In addition, I learned that just being smart wasn't enough...all of us there were smart and opportunities were no longer just given to you because of that fact..if you want something, you have to make it known and you have to fight for it. While I was in the hospital, I realized that now was the time to make these things happen..I had to step out of my comfort zone and go after what I wanted. Things are no longer gonna be handed to me..if I want them, it is up to me to go out and get them.

I tried really hard to keep this mentality going when I actually got back to school, and I must say, I had the best semester of college thus far. I worked really hard, and I feel like I finally belong there...I've earned my spot. I've gained some of my academic confidence back and I've formed great bonds with some of my professors.

So I guess, in a weird and slightly warped way, being diagnosed with diabetes changed my life for the better..don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone ever...but I guess this was just my attempt to find something positive amongst the negative!

Alright..I'm off to go eat a cake....

...just kidding!

Why do we have to read, can't we just party on?!

Alright...I've survived the chaos that is finals, and have moved back home for the summer (unpacking took FOREVER!...why do I require so many accessories!?) And while its really great to be home, I do miss everyone back out in Moorhead!

One thing I REALLY miss about Moorhead is my kindergarteners at Dilworth. So many people are surprised when I tell them I work at an elementary school..usually I get the, "but you're premed, why are working at a school..you don't wanna be a teacher"..yes, that is correct I am premed, and yes also correct that I don't want to be a teacher...I work at a school because it works well with my schedule, working with kids is fun, and I just want to, OK?! And to be honest, spending some afternoons with kindergarteners is a welcome study break. I spend so much time focusing on the big picture...the goal is med school..GO! Almost everything I do revolves around advancing and getting to that final step of med school...so much so that sometimes I forget about the little victories along the way. Working with kindergarteners reminds me to recognize and celebrate those little victories...to them, everyday is a new adventure and something like learning how to write a new letter is the great accomplishment of the day. I think we could all learn a lot if we hung out with kindergarteners more...

And also, Maranda, their teacher. She is absolutely wonderful! She has a great sense of humor and most importantly, she just let the kindergarteners be kids...even if that meant being loud or messy! I also consider her my friend, she always asked what was going on in my life, how my classes were going, etc...and she was definitely there for me (like when I locked my keys in my car bwhaha), she was the first one in Moorhead I told about my diabetes because I felt comfortable talking to her about it. I really hope my schedule allows me to work in her classroom next year...

My last day at Dilworth was definitely bittersweet...the kids made me a book, each one of them drew me a picture and wrote a little bit..it was really cute! And then Maranda gave me a really nice card! I know that the likelihood of my working with Maranda next year is pretty great, and the odds of me working with the kids as first graders is also pretty high..but its still a little sad because I know things will be different...I'm sure the kids I knew as kindergarteners are going to be WAY different as first graders...and while it is fun seeing them grow and change, I'm definitely going to miss the moments we shared this past year!






Aren't we a lovely bunch? haha! you would not believe how difficult it was just to get us all assembled, let alone take a decent picture...there were at least 10 attempts..but its ok, I wouldn't want them all to be sitting perfectly still and smiling..because, well, that would just be a lie! So here's to you my dear kindergarteners...you always brightened up my day!!